“And this warning take I beg; not every wolf runs on four legs! The smooth tongue of a smooth skinned creature may mask a rough and wolfish nature. The quiet types, for all their charm, can be the cause of the worst harm.” –Little Red Riding Hood

 

Remember the song in The Sound of Music, called “Sixteen”?  Part of the song goes, “Fellows I meet may tell me I’m sweet, and willingly I believe.”

This truth is all too real in the life of a girl: we like flattery and guys definitely know it. However, many guys can turn on the charm, but this doesn’t make them Prince Charming.

 

 

“For there is no faithfulness in their mouth; their inward part is very wickedness; their throat is an open tomb; they flatter with their tongue.”-Psalm 5:9

 

Yikes, doesn’t sound like a very nice person, yet if should be easy to avoid him, right? Wrong. Those playing the charm card are posers of a prince; therefore they are subtle and try to blend in. They play “the game” well and have been appropriately titled “players.” So how do you recognize Prince Charmer? (Poser to Prince Charming.)

Here are three ways I think will help:

1. By knowing yourself
2. By knowing your Prince
3. By knowing your Savior

 

First is to know who you are. We all want people to like us, so we all can be vulnerable to flattery. When you receive praise or compliments, give yourself a reality check. Sure, your parents tell you that you are pretty all the time, so why is it more exciting coming from a boy? Also, know when you actually need praise and when you need correction. Compliments are nice when they are earned and deserved, but sometimes we need constructive criticism, and we know it.

 

“A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.” Proverbs 29:5

 

Flattery can be dangerous; it softens the heart and weakens the will. Be aware of excessive flattery or attention and guard your heart against being charmed by the charmer.

 

The second way is to know your Prince. From a very young age I knew what I wanted in a guy, and as I grew, so did my list. There is nothing wrong with having high standards. If your list is prayerfully compiled and your parents agree with it, then stick to it! I’m not going to disclose my list, but here are some basic MUSTs for anyone to use:

• Christian
• Has the same family values
• Has compatible future goals
• Has remained pure
• Is cute (ok, just kidding…)

 

Of course you can expound on those and add your own. Test one is fitting that list though, so don’t let him pour out the charm, until you check off the list.

One question I am frequently asked us about sincerity. After all, he is a poser, can’t he fake being all those things? Matthew 7:15-20 tells us we can know someone by their fruits. Family is one way to tell about a guy. Look at his family life and how he relates to others. A MAJOR question that needs to be addressed: has he had other girls? If you have committed to saving yourself for just one man, then the man you are waiting for is waiting for you. Guys who have had previous girlfriends are used goods, until further notice. Your prince should be slaying the dragon, he doesn’t have time to be wooing other maidens and giving his heart to other girls. Ask your parents for their advice. My mom is the most amazing judge of character and personality, she is almost always right, so I don’t question her decisions and suggestions. I am slightly gullible when it comes to believing people, so I turn to my parents for guidance and input. When you are caught in the web of charm it’s easy to overlook flaws and try to mold him into something he is not. Parents are good at seeing the side we don’t always want to see, so ask them. The Poser Prince might be serving as a distraction, to keep you from God’s best for your life. One song puts it like this- “What if your prince comes riding in, while you’re kissing a frog, what’s he gonna think then? So look into his eyes, are you a princess or a fly?”

So is he Prince Charmer or Prince Charming? Just a distracting frog?

Here is my AOL (angel of light) checklist:

Seven ways to identify an AOL
1.Conscience raises a doubt
2.Sounds too good to be true
3.Promotes, pleases, or pities self
4.Makes you feel like you deserve it
5.Puts pressure on you to decide immediately
6.Promotes an independent spirit
7.Known Bible principles become violated.

 

Finally, and most importantly, know your Savior. Having a close walk with Christ and knowing His plans for your life, has an amazing way of minimizing a lot of these problems. Flattery’s fire dies when it hits a humble heart. Temptation and weakness are overcome through Christ who gives us strength, and wisdom and discernment are given to those who ask for it. When you are living your life to please God, and not man, Prince Poser becomes powerless with his harm charm.

 

It is important to note that flattery and charm do have their place. After all, we are waiting for Prince CHARMing. Just make sure you aren’t blinded by charm and miss out on charming. :)