Remember that question people would ask you when you were young? "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Kids reply with something like doctor or a mermaid. Little did I know that question was prepping me for a bigger question, "What are your plans after college?" This seemingly innocent question is a loaded explosive to a Next Generation Daughter. First, it assumes you are going to college, and second it assumes a career will be the answer. College questions and future questions seem like harmless small talk to the questioner, but to whom the question is directed, it's a constant battle of fighting worldly beliefs. As gears grind to try and explain a spiritual conviction, girls become frustrated and worn down from guilt attacks and constant pressure. I have talked with many of you, so I know I am not the only one who struggles with this.

 

Well, for every question, there is an answer, right? So what is the answer? 1 Peter 3:15 says- "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:"

 

Before you answer "The Question", analyze the questioner. Who is asking? Are they asking to make small talk? Will they understand what I believe? Will they challenge my answer?

It's hard to have one generic answer, but there are some guidelines to follow.

 

1. Know what you believe and have a solid foundation. If the world sees you as weak prey, their questioning will be constant and draining. When answering people, know that sometime pleasing God means disapproval of others. Make sure they know you are deeply grounded in your convictions.

2. Pray about your answer. Ask the Lord to give you words to speak. "Then the LORD put forth his hand, and touched my mouth. And the LORD said unto me, Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth." (Jeremiah 1:9)

3. Develop your answer. When developing your answer, here is a good outline that will hopefully help-

I.                    Arrange your words in a way that gets straight to the point and don't leave room for them to add negative remarks.

II.                 What you believe is a spiritual conviction, give a spiritual answer. Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

III.               Have a meek and gentle spirit. Your answer will mean nothing if your attitude is not sweet and feminine.

4. Avoid making close friends with people who will not support or who will try to corrupt your beliefs. "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners." 1Corinthians 15:33


5. And when you have done everything, just stand firm and let God handle the rest.  Ephesians 6:13 "Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."

When it comes to future plans, remember only God knows what will happen, so all we have to do is be faithful to His calling.

Sometimes not giving an answer is also an answer. Don't get shoved on the defensive. Joyfully share what you believe and tell them how and why you chose the lifestyle you have chosen. Don't be afraid to live a life above the line and never lower your standards. Sometimes people react negatively, putting you down trying to build themselves up. When they say you are missing out, they mean they can't follow your lifestyle, follow theirs instead. Convictions are not restrictions, they are road signs to keep us on the straight and narrow.

Your faithfulness is not in vain. We know the joy and blessings that have come from our decision to obey God and though it may feel like it sometimes, you are not alone in your choice for a feminine home life. :) 2 Thessalonians 3:13 "But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing."

Samson: “Don’t trust women, don’t get your hair cut.”

The story of Samson is an interesting one. I have pondered a few times, the lessons to be learned in this Bible story. Quite a few stick out to me actually, so lets start in the beginning. The story of Samson can be found in Judges 13-16. Samson was a man of great strength and great pride. (With great muscle comes great ego. lol) He often took for granted his strength and abused his gift from God. I think a lesson everyone can learn from this story is, no matter how strong you may be, (physically, mentally, spiritually.) when we try to do it in our own strength, eventually it leads to destruction.
QUOTE (Proverbs14:12)There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
Samson had some strong times, but even at his strongest he fell at his weakness.
The book of Proverbs is filled with warning about the “strange” woman.

QUOTE (Proverbs 5:3) For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:QUOTE (Proverbs 7:25;27) Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.QUOTE (Proverbs 6:24) To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.QUOTE (Proverbs 23:27) For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.

But a virtuous woman-
QUOTE (Proverbs 12:4) A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.QUOTE (Proverbs 18:22) Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.QUOTE (Proverbs 31:11) The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Samson’s weakness was lust and sensuality. He rebelled against his parents wishes and married a Philistine.
QUOTE (Judges 14:3) Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.
This lead to much trouble, heartache, and bloodshed. Most marriages that do not have the parents blessing, end up crumbling with separation or divorce. This was the case with Sampson…..only, worse things happened. The lesson here for men is: guard your heart and don’t seek out a wife by appearances only.

I think there is a major lesson for girls in this story. Here is Sampson: strong, valiant, fearless, yet he was brought down by a woman. Delilah was not a godly or virtuous woman. She was probably attractive, but used her femininity to bring down a man of God. (Not to mention, she did not act feminine.) She was seductive(Prov 7:10,13), flattered with her words (Prov.7:21), and nagged till she got what she wanted (Prov 27:15). She manipulated Sampson, by using his weakness for women, she was able to discover his ultimate weakness-haircuts.
God created us to be man’s helpmeet, so men do need women. However, we must make sure we do not abuse this role for our own benefit. Dressing immodestly, flirting, flattery, dating, these are things that may gain attention from men, but you are causing them to stumble an defrauding their purity. A virtuous woman is careful to save not only her body, but her words, actions, emotions, and feelings, by keeping herself in an appropriate and feminine context. Delilah knew the power she had over Sampson and she fully utilized it. Seduction with words and dress, flattery, whining, nagging……and the mighty Sampson caved. He was so out of touch with God-
QUOTE (Judges 16:20) And he wist not that the LORD was departed from him.

That verse brings a sadness to my heart. Here was this mighty man, who God could have used in so many ways, and he fell to the touch of the strange woman.
QUOTE (Proverbs 7:26) For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.
What I don’t get is, why was Sampson so dense to what was going on? Could he not see what Delilah was up to, the first four times she tied him up? I think this really shows the power of lust, how it destroys, yet he was so addicted he was almost oblivious to it. The first problem was he was some where he shouldn’t be. (Reminds me of the story of David and Bathsheaba.) The best way to avoid a tempting situation, is to fully remove your self from places and situations where you shouldn’t be.

Summary:
-Lessons from Sampson.
*Listen to parents
*Don’t try things on your own strength
*Don’t put yourself in tempting situations.
*Guard your heart
*Be careful to protect your purity and other’s.
-And finally, there are consequences for actions, even when God forgives.
QUOTE (Judges 16:28) And Samson called unto the LORD, and said, O Lord God, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me, I pray thee, only this once, O God, that I may be at once avenged of the Philistines for my two eyes.
God granted his plea, yet Sampson had faced many consequences, that ended in death.

I think the story is very sad, but like every Bible story, serves the purpose of growing and teaching us.

“A beautiful woman who is with out discretion is like a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout.” Proverbs 11:22 Have you ever seen a strikingly beautiful girl, then notice something pierced in her lip or tattooed on her arm? What about a pretty girl, or seemingly pretty, till she started giving her opinions on life. Beauty is nothing, it is a waste, if a girl does not have discretion. With out discretion a beautiful life will be wasted away and ultimately leads to destruction. “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout.” Seems pretty goofy to put an expensive ring of gold in the nose of a dirty pig. The pig would be a silly recipient of the ring, because pigs are dirty creatures that eat slop and wallow in the mud. The ring would be wasted, and it’s beauty would eventually fade, because of the pig’s lifestyle. The same is true about a girl with out discretion. The girl’s lifestyle will sooner or later taint her outward appearance. She’s living in sin, she’s hanging with the wrong crowd, it will show. Not at first maybe, but sin always has a consequence. Diseases, sickness, physical appearance will fade and that once beautiful person now feels empty and alone. Discretion is important in making wise, godly choices with your life and actions. Hollywood has so called  “glamour”, but daily media shows the life of these cover girls and their lives are crumbling, crashing, and ending in destruction. Beauty is nothing with out inward beauty, and that can only be obtained through Jesus Christ. Nothing good can we do on our own, even our best is nothing but filthy rags, unless it is Christ who lives with in us. Girls, your beauty is gold, what will your gold ordain? Is your beauty nothing more than a decoration for a pig, or does it reflect your perfect Savior? Do you have the discretion not to waste what the Lord has given you and are you using it for Him?

I thought I would write today on some interesting things that have intruded upon my thoughts this week. It began with the old BBC version of Anne of Green Gables. I found myself in one of those “why am I wasting time on this?” moments. The story plots are classic and enjoyable, but even when I was younger, I never did like Anne herself. She is the type of girl I try not to be. From a worldly view she is a spunky, free spirit, who says what she thinks and is making a name for herself. Only this week did I finally realize why I don’t like this Anne Shirley character. While subtle (and oh how subtle feeding the flesh can be!) this Anne girl is not the Princess a Prince would want to rescue. In fact, she seems to go quite the opposite direction of biblical womanhood. Over and over in the Bible we find excellent guidance on how a godly girl is to live. Words like submissive, modest, gentle, and virtuous instantly come to mind. Not to pick on just Anne, I know girls in books and movies today are a lot worse, but strange how that makes it ok. (Because it is “not as bad” ) We tend to shrug off Anne’s un-feminine personality and try to focus on her better side. Her creativeness and romantic heart is admirable (and something I can relate to) but to me, that is not enough for her to be an icon in my life, much less a virtuous woman. Today we went to the Creation Museum. (If you haven’t been, it is AMAZING!) My favorite section (besides the planetarium) is the Adam and Eve exhibit. I often have so many questions for Eve. How amazing it must have been, before the fall. Her life must have been glorious! To spend every day in perfect fellowship with God, just happily by your husband’s side, with pretty much only the responsibility to “be fruitful and multiply” and take care of the garden…life was good. I find myself questioning how Eve could ever have even wanted to disobey God?! But how true it is, even in our lives today. When life gets good, the flesh gets weak. Like Anne, we can easily find the faults of Eve. She should have known what God had told them…..She should have asked Adam….She shouldn’t have tempted Adam….ect. Truly though, who of us would have been stronger? If anything, with our world being in end times and sin being so accepted, I know I probably would have caved, maybe even sooner than Eve did. Femininity starts in the heart, and the devil will come after us too, that is certain. In a world that hungers for feminine daughters, sisters, wives, and mothers, or role is becoming even more crucial. I encourage you this week to observe your heart attitude and watch how you react and respond to things. Are you a Proverbs 31 and Titus 2, or an Anne and Eve? :)

  A day dreaming girl, a Handsome prince, a valiant fight to save the princess, and a romance saved by true loves first kiss. Sleeping Beauty has always been my favorite fairytale. I loved the girly princess, and Prince Charming destroying evil and saving the day. I use to pretend that I was the princess, and determined that I would be a girly girl, so someday a handsome prince would fight for me. But slowly fairytales of feminine charm and valiant Prince Charmings fade, as society pushes women to be more aggressive, and men of valor are told their princesses can save themselves. So is all feminine grace destined to be fairytales? Do you have to kiss a frog in order to find Prince Charming? Today, I would like to share with you what it really means to be a virtuous woman  and a man of valor, as we seek out the forgotten femininity and missing manliness of our country.
To begin we need to understand that men and women are different, both on the physical level, and on the mental and emotional level, but the separate role of male and female serves to compliment each other when both are practiced in unison. In the movie Summer Magic, actress Hailey Mills sings a song about being feminine and that our femininity is to emphasize man’s masculinity. God ordained man to be the spiritual head of his household, and women, we were created to be man’s helper. “And God said,  It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helpmeet for him.” Genesis 2:18
Creation was not finished till Eve was created, for with her, Adam was then complete. The same is true today, and femininity not only brings wholeness, but honor to your husbands, fathers, and ultimately the Lord Jesus Christ. Men, how do you treat and address the ladies in your life? Women should be respected and reverenced by men, with actions, words, and attitudes. Guy’s want to be treated like a king? Then treat her like a queen. So what are some ways to exhibit these characteristics?

 

This brings me to my second point, displaying your true purpose.

My mom always tells me, “What is on the inside, will eventually come out on the outside.” People can not see your heart, but they can see the way you present yourself in: dress, conversations, and lifestyles. Ladies, there are many ways we can display femininity in our everyday lives, but the most obvious is to look like a girl. “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are an abomination to the Lord thy God.” Deuteronomy 22:5

Not only is it ok to dress like a lady, we must also make sure we are dressing modestly. In Proverbs 7 we read how easily men can be tempted, and the Strange Woman (as she is referred to) used her appeal as a woman, but did not act at all feminine. “For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.” Proverbs 7:26

Many men fell into their lustful temptations, and all it took to persuade them was immodest dress and flattering words. True femininity does not take advantage of men’s desires, but makes sure she is not a stumbling block, and saves herself for her husband alone. A worthy goal would be to resemble the Proverbs 31 woman. She is a hard worker, wise, and in bringing honor to her husband, honor is also brought to her. “ Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” Proverbs 31:28 One thing to note, is that not once in the 21 verses describing this virtuous woman, does it mention her physical beauty. And yet we imagine her as attractive, because of her inward beauty and character. Culture today puts heavy emphasis on outward appearance and portrays the younger women to be more attractive. Beauty is ageless when it starts from the heart. When a lady acts feminine, that grace will keep her outward features sweet and pretty, even in her much later years.

Men, the way you present yourself is also important.  Along with women being pushed to be more aggressive, it seems men are trying to take on a more feminine form.  Gender confusion is evident in the hair styles and amount of jewelry men wear today. Some  guys have femininity down better than girls do. 

 

As I stated earlier, what is on the inside eventually comes out, and so the final point is addressing the attitude of your heart.

 

The radical feminist movement wants liberation from man, but what they do not realize is, just as man needs woman to be complete, women need the leadership of men. Women were created to be more delicate and emotional than men, but when women resist their natural role, they can become bitter and hard. True femininity is kind and has a gentle and graceful attitude, full of love and compassion.  When women present themselves in this way, men are encouraged to protect and respect women as ladies. But men, you need to step up to the plate. Our country needs good, moral men, to stand up and fight for important issues. Boys today are just not taught to be strong anymore. Their natural growth into manhood is being suppressed, as they are told they need to get in touch with their “feminine side.” Women don’t need men to have emotional meltdowns with them, they need to know they are protected, and have a strong shoulder to cry on. Strength comes from being who you were called to be.

 

Even in our teenage years we have a responsibility to fill our callings in life. We also have a responsibility to our future spouse. Even if you are not planning on marriage, or don’t know who you are going to marry, the responsibility to remain pure is the same.

Girls, you need to have more respect for who you are, no one is going to keep you pure, that is your job. And boys, what do you feed your mind on a daily basis? What kind of things are you looking at online, when you think no one is around? Do you think about girls in a godly, respectful way? A man of Valor will keep his thought life wholesome and will use discernment in what he watches, listens to, and sets before his eyes.

 

I hope I have encouraged you to seek out the forgotten gender roles once honored by our nation. In conclusion, women can be strong and feminine at the same time; and men stop crying on our shoulders and be courageous  to earn women’s respect. Change can only start with effort and determination from both men and women. Your life might not be a fairytale, but when we fulfill the unique role God has established for us, we can live happily ever after.