I love you! I also love my cat…..Oh! and this shirt, I love this shirt! *starts thinking* and pizza, I love pizza……and the guy that delivers the pizza, I …..don’t love him. But, I do love when he puts extra sauce in the box.
Ah, love. The word love is a very versatile word. When you say you love your family, then later state how much you love your tuna fish sandwich; the question arises, what is love? Love seems to be a popular topic, and a rather commercialized topic at that. Whatever happened to true love? Or is that just for fairytales? Every life story starts with once upon a time, but what happens before the end will determine the ending. Today I would like to talk about what it takes to reach “happily ever after”, by going over the definition of love, then looking at love on the spiritual level and the physical level.
We begin with the definition of love. What is love? The dictionary defines love as “a strong, positive emotion of regard and affection;” By that definition I would say it could apply to your parents or your computer. When I think of love, I think of the ultimate definition of love- John 15:13 says: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus Christ set the ultimate example and I would say you could define real love as someone you would die for. 1 Corinthians chapter thirteen gives us the characteristics of love. How love is patient, love is kind; love envieth not, love does not boast, is not proud, does not behave rudely, seeketh not it’s own, is not easily provoked, and love never fails.
This definition puts a new light on what love really is: a choice. Culture today teaches love is a feeling that cannot be helped, and that it is natural for people to fall in and out of love. This however is not the case. Divorce rates are so high, because people follow their emotions and love has become a selfish game of “me first!”
True love is self sacrificing and requires many moral traits, which brings me to my second point: the spiritual level of love.
You are never too young or too old to be hit with moral temptations, and media today promotes immorality with a positive light. Watching filthy movies or listening to unclean music will not only pollute your mind, but will slowly desensitize you to the point where you are not only immune to it, but you hunger for it. This is called lust. When your flesh out weighs your faith and you prefer worldly indulgences to eternal truths. Once corrupt, you will begin to despise pure things. That is why we must guard our heart. “Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.” 1Corinthians 10:12
My generation is going through the boyfriend/girlfriend phase of life, but even before we meet that special someone, we have a responsibility to remain pure. To do this we must set high standards and have solid convictions. Remaining pure on the emotional level is sometimes harder than the physical level, but just as important. Thinking unclean or ungodly thoughts is just as immoral as actually doing them. Matthew 5:28 says, “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery in his heart.” You are the only person who can keep yourself pure, and we should be taking responsibility for our own actions and developing our own virtues. Your parents can give you restrictions, but only your convictions will stand in a moment of temptation, and the question then plays out, is it love or lust?
This brings me to my final point: the physical level of love.
When it comes to the two biggest decisions of your life, salvation and marriage, love is the foundation to both. God created marriage for one man and one woman for one lifetime. Matthew 19:6 reads, “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.” Divorce rates are higher than ever, and yet divorce is being practiced at a young age. The “dating game” of our society allows you to date around and break up, till you find that right person. Each break up is like a mini divorce and each time you have given a little bit of your heart away. Think about it like this; when you are married, do you want your spouse to be unfaithful and date other people? No, we call that cheating. Yet dating does the same thing, only before you are married. Putting the present situation into future light helps practice faithfulness. Part of remaining pure is saving ourselves for only one person. Proverbs 31:12 says, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” The word all there implies she was remaining faithful to her husband, even before she knew him. While dating draws the focus of the relationship in the wrong direction, its alternative, courtship, sets the stage for a lasting marriage. A lot of young people don’t like the thought of courtship for one reason, the label that reads, “Warning: parental discernment is advised.”
In an independent generation, accountability is one thing heavily despised; yet the same people who yell for independence lack responsibility. With courtship the relationship is either encouraged or discouraged through parental guidance, which helps prevent temptation and heartbreak, while keeping the focus on the spiritual and not the physical. Courtship is designed with marriage in mind. “Everyone else is doing it” has become a lame excuse, especially for dating. Do you really want to be like everyone else? You see the glamour, but never the broken lives. Even if you think it is too late, because you have lost your purity, it is not true! It is never too late to ask for forgiveness and commit to saving yourself for one person. Girls, we must hold ourselves in a modest and graceful way.
“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel.” 1Timothy 2:9
And men, treat women like ladies, with wholesome respect. When we apply these principles today, they will be strength to our marriage later on.
It starts now.
Once upon a time begins your tale, how will you chose to fill the pages? Like the stories, we all have dragons to slay or wicked to overcome, a fairytale ending is never easy. Are you willing to wait for yours? The choices you make today will affect you the rest of your life. Choose purity, choose to stand strong, do not settle, and do not compromise, for before the fairytale there was faithfulness. A faithfulness committed to one true love, only then comes happily ever after.