A day dreaming girl, a Handsome prince, a valiant fight to save the princess, and a romance saved by true loves first kiss. Sleeping Beauty has always been my favorite fairytale. I loved the girly princess, and Prince Charming destroying evil and saving the day. I use to pretend that I was the princess, and determined that I would be a girly girl, so someday a handsome prince would fight for me. But slowly fairytales of feminine charm and valiant Prince Charmings fade, as society pushes women to be more aggressive, and men of valor are told their princesses can save themselves. So is all feminine grace destined to be fairytales? Do you have to kiss a frog in order to find Prince Charming? Today, I would like to share with you what it really means to be a virtuous woman and a man of valor, as we seek out the forgotten femininity and missing manliness of our country.
To begin we need to understand that men and women are different, both on the physical level, and on the mental and emotional level, but the separate role of male and female serves to compliment each other when both are practiced in unison. In the movie Summer Magic, actress Hailey Mills sings a song about being feminine and that our femininity is to emphasize man’s masculinity. God ordained man to be the spiritual head of his household, and women, we were created to be man’s helper. “And God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helpmeet for him.” Genesis 2:18
Creation was not finished till Eve was created, for with her, Adam was then complete. The same is true today, and femininity not only brings wholeness, but honor to your husbands, fathers, and ultimately the Lord Jesus Christ. Men, how do you treat and address the ladies in your life? Women should be respected and reverenced by men, with actions, words, and attitudes. Guy’s want to be treated like a king? Then treat her like a queen. So what are some ways to exhibit these characteristics?
This brings me to my second point, displaying your true purpose.
My mom always tells me, “What is on the inside, will eventually come out on the outside.” People can not see your heart, but they can see the way you present yourself in: dress, conversations, and lifestyles. Ladies, there are many ways we can display femininity in our everyday lives, but the most obvious is to look like a girl. “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are an abomination to the Lord thy God.” Deuteronomy 22:5
Not only is it ok to dress like a lady, we must also make sure we are dressing modestly. In Proverbs 7 we read how easily men can be tempted, and the Strange Woman (as she is referred to) used her appeal as a woman, but did not act at all feminine. “For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.” Proverbs 7:26
Many men fell into their lustful temptations, and all it took to persuade them was immodest dress and flattering words. True femininity does not take advantage of men’s desires, but makes sure she is not a stumbling block, and saves herself for her husband alone. A worthy goal would be to resemble the Proverbs 31 woman. She is a hard worker, wise, and in bringing honor to her husband, honor is also brought to her. “ Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” Proverbs 31:28 One thing to note, is that not once in the 21 verses describing this virtuous woman, does it mention her physical beauty. And yet we imagine her as attractive, because of her inward beauty and character. Culture today puts heavy emphasis on outward appearance and portrays the younger women to be more attractive. Beauty is ageless when it starts from the heart. When a lady acts feminine, that grace will keep her outward features sweet and pretty, even in her much later years.
Men, the way you present yourself is also important. Along with women being pushed to be more aggressive, it seems men are trying to take on a more feminine form. Gender confusion is evident in the hair styles and amount of jewelry men wear today. Some guys have femininity down better than girls do.
As I stated earlier, what is on the inside eventually comes out, and so the final point is addressing the attitude of your heart.
The radical feminist movement wants liberation from man, but what they do not realize is, just as man needs woman to be complete, women need the leadership of men. Women were created to be more delicate and emotional than men, but when women resist their natural role, they can become bitter and hard. True femininity is kind and has a gentle and graceful attitude, full of love and compassion. When women present themselves in this way, men are encouraged to protect and respect women as ladies. But men, you need to step up to the plate. Our country needs good, moral men, to stand up and fight for important issues. Boys today are just not taught to be strong anymore. Their natural growth into manhood is being suppressed, as they are told they need to get in touch with their “feminine side.” Women don’t need men to have emotional meltdowns with them, they need to know they are protected, and have a strong shoulder to cry on. Strength comes from being who you were called to be.
Even in our teenage years we have a responsibility to fill our callings in life. We also have a responsibility to our future spouse. Even if you are not planning on marriage, or don’t know who you are going to marry, the responsibility to remain pure is the same.
Girls, you need to have more respect for who you are, no one is going to keep you pure, that is your job. And boys, what do you feed your mind on a daily basis? What kind of things are you looking at online, when you think no one is around? Do you think about girls in a godly, respectful way? A man of Valor will keep his thought life wholesome and will use discernment in what he watches, listens to, and sets before his eyes.
I hope I have encouraged you to seek out the forgotten gender roles once honored by our nation. In conclusion, women can be strong and feminine at the same time; and men stop crying on our shoulders and be courageous to earn women’s respect. Change can only start with effort and determination from both men and women. Your life might not be a fairytale, but when we fulfill the unique role God has established for us, we can live happily ever after.
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